Cheers to 5 Years! My Journey Living Alcohol Free

Some people decide to partake in dry January, or give up alcohol for Lent. For me, 2023 marks year 5 since I said to myself "I'm not having a drink again", and so far I've never looked back, so I thought I'd share some of my journey.

I've never had an addiction to alcohol, in my experience it's only been something I've drank socially. I remember the early days, I was probably 14(?) when getting hold of alcohol definitely boosted your 'coolness' status in school. I'd have sleepovers with my friends, we'd stay up all night watching films and would drink a WKD each (sorry Mum), building up the bragging rights! By the time I reached 18, I was over the party scene (and too unwell to enjoy it) so I would rarely go out with friends.

The year I chose to stop drinking, I was pretty new to faith as an adult and was on the other side of battling my chronic disease for years. I began a journey with God to try and become a better version of myself, I had made bad mistakes and knew I needed to make some radical changes. I knew that nothing in the Bible says that drinking alcohol is wrong, but it does say that drunkenness is (Eph 5:18, 1 Cor 6:10), and I was becoming aware that I really struggled to control my level of drunkenness, and it was becoming a problem. I mean, I am a huge lightweight, and was still at the 'rose' stage of drinking, as I rarely engaged in it and didn't enjoy the taste, but when I did drink, I found it difficult not to get to the stage where I couldn't remember the night and woke up feeling bad physically and mentally. It led to anxiety, shame and confusion - taking my friend's recollections of the night as truth because I had nothing else to go on. Sure, it was fun to dance under the influence, I had a few good nights where I remembered it all, and nothing ever really 'bad' happened to me or by me, but it wasn't worth it, it was scary!

I know I'm not alone here, in the past few years the term 'Hangxiety' has become commonly used to describe the experience of feeling anxious the day after drinking. According to Alcohol Change, it appears more prevalent amongst drinkers aged 34 and under, with two in five (40%) experiencing it regularly.

According to Lyres (among other sources), Hanxiety is characterised by symptoms such as:

• Feeling depressed or anxious

• Feeling overwhelmed, worried or embarrassed

• A feeling of existential dread

• Increased heart rate and state of restlessness

• Inability to focus

• Paranoia

It was after one of these nights that I had a real hard look at my relationship with alcohol, I was concerned about the blackouts I experienced and remember feeling haunted when I read that blackouts cause permanent damage to your brain cells.

According to the NIH, "Alcohol-related blackouts are gaps in a person’s memory for events that occurred while they were intoxicated. These gaps happen when a person drinks enough alcohol to temporarily block the transfer of memories from short-term to long-term storage—known as memory consolidation—in a brain area called the hippocampus."

What's even more scary is that according to Ohio State University, 'Alcohol does kill brain cells. Some of those cells can be regenerated over time. In the meantime, the existing nerve cells branch out to compensate for the lost functions. This damage may be permanent. Moreover, after a certain age, the connections between neurons begin to prune back. In a brain damaged by alcohol, we may see early-onset dementia.' ...what?!

I knew that drinking alcohol was not worth risking my health, I have an autoimmune disease and know how important it is to look after your body. I could avoid feeling 'hangxiety' ever again nor tolerate the taste - so I decided that was it, I wouldn't drink alcohol from now on. It hasn't been easy, but there has not yet been a good enough reason for me to look back.

Things I've noted during life without alcohol so far

1. It affects other people more than myself

One thing I've found particularly interesting, is the way people have viewed me when I tell them that I don't drink alcohol. This can be both good and bad.

On the good side, avoiding alcohol reflects your moral standing; people often view you as someone who is sensible and has good self control and, in my experience, they seem to respect you more for it. I find that at work in particular, people are naturally more aware that I'm not interested in having shots around the bar, and the atmosphere that comes with it, so they don't try and involve me.

The other side to it is that people sometimes seem to think that I've had a problem with alcohol in the past - when on the subject, I occasionally get concerned looks and asked why I don't drink and whether I ever will do again. Even though I don't preach to others about alcohol and join in the fun - it seems that when others are drinking, the simple fact that you don't makes them feel uncomfortable.

I'm currently reading a book called 'Sabbath' by Dr. Dan Allender, and he talks a bit about his experience cutting out alcohol among other things, he said "I didn't take into account the level of resistance we face the moment we choose a course of action that bucks the trend of what others consider to be good, true and lovely. Or better said, when we choose a course of action that exposes the lack of health in others, we can expect to be bombarded with temptation and, at times, contempt that questions our motives and sanity".

I thought this was an interesting perspective; it does seem to ring true that when people express disapproval over your choice not to drink, it exposes their own insecurities when it comes to their relationship with alcohol.

2. It's freed me in ways I didn't expect

I hear a lot of people say 'I can't dance without alcohol' - I definitely disagree. I remember being at a party sober before I gave up alcohol - I'd had 1 glass of wine and watered it down. I was with a friend who didn't drink at all, and, despite feeling out of my comfort zone, once we started dancing it was so fun! And the best part? I had a good time and remembered it clearly. Once you start breaking out moves on the dancefloor, you start to realise that no one really cares how you dance, and alcohol doesn't make you any better at it either!

I'm also definitely more alert and aware of things when I'm out with my friends. There was an occasion recently where I was at a club with a large group of girls, and could see a man trying to get women to sip his drink - we managed to stop one of our girls from drinking it - I thought it was odd and reported it to the manager, and they watched him for the rest of the night. You're far less vulnerable when you're sober, you can look our for others and people take you seriously too.

Another thing that's changed for the better is my dreams. I mentioned feeling haunted by the effects of alcohol - so much so that it used to affect my dreams. I'm a vivid dreamer and I used to have nightmares that I was partying with friends, and then something bad would happen - I'd end up alone and scared. Since choosing to abstain from it completely, i've found that if I ever dream about a party, it's always a good one - I have a great time with my friends and nothing bad happens. I believe that there is a connection between your conscious and subconscious - dreams often reflect what you know and your lifestyle.

3. It's led to other healthy changes in habits

Naturally, when you're sober, there are things you just decide make life more fun. I don't go out very often, nowadays I only tend to go out for people's birthdays, Hen Do's, weddings etc. which I thoroughly enjoy.

Without an 'alcohol jacket' on, I tend to dress more modestly - I don't wear heels too often, if I'm going out dancing I tend to opt for trainers! Don't get me wrong, I like to dress up, getting ready with friends is fun, but focusing on dressing to have fun rather than for affirmation, means that I don't attract unwanted attention anywhere near as much, and I can focus on having a good time with my friends.

I also don't stay out really late and this means I enjoy the night but also wake up feeling good the next day and can fully enjoy my time. I'm never alone when I decide I'm ready to go - there are always others who are thinking the same way - perhaps this has come with age, but either way people often just stay out because everyone else is rather than because they want to.

4. I've probably saved a lot of money

Money wasn't a big driver for me giving up alcohol, but it's definitely something I've noticed and worth noting. Weddings, parties etc. never cost me much, and there's no need to get involved in rounds either. According to the ONS the average UK household spends £17.60 on alcohol per week, or £915 per year.

There are lots of Alcohol-free alternatives, I enjoy a good mocktail - it has all the glam without the bitter taste, and for a lower price too. According to Food Navigator, low/no alcohol consumption is set to rise by a third by 2026, with zero alcohol beverages growing faster than low-alcohol. Also, whilst I'm not personally looking for non-alcoholic drinks that taste alcoholic, the alternatives out there have improved significantly in taste. I listened to a Zoe Science podcast once, that talked about how we are finding better techniques of removing alcohol from drinks, low/no alcohol drinks are only going to taste better in future.

5. Living Alcohol Free is actually not a big deal

All in all, it's really not a big deal. Not being a big drinker, I didn't find it difficult to give it up and I don't think about it that much, but I do know that life without alcohol is more freeing for me, and helps me to live rightly.

Do I think everyone should live teetotal? No. I do think that Christians should steer clear of drunkenness, because we live by the Bible and that's what it says, but I know many Christians who enjoy a drink without getting drink. To elaborate, there is a great quote by C.S Lewis from his book, Mere Christianity:

"It is a mistake to think that Christians ought all to be teetotallers; Mohammedanism, not Christianity, is the teetotal religion. Of course it may be the duty of a particular Christian, or of any Christian, at a particular time, to abstain from strong drink, either because he is the sort of man who cannot drink at all without drinking too much, or because he wants to give the money to the poor, or because he is with people who are inclined to drunkenness and must not encourage them by drinking himself. But the whole point is that he is abstaining, for a good reason, from something which he does not condemn and which he likes to see other people enjoying. One of the marks of a certain type of bad man is that he cannot give up a thing himself without wanting every one else to give it up. That is not the Christian way."

Maybe you're reading this and are considering giving up alcohol for a season yourself. If staying away from it indefinitely isn't for you, it might be comforting to know that a little can go a long way. The University of Sussex reported that six months after taking on Dry January, 70% of people continued a healthy change to their drinking habits.

Wherever you stand after reading this, hopefully it's been helpful in some way, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.